Well, you can't borrow any more chairs!
There's only one left in here now, and I need that to sit on!
What?
Oh.
Sorry.
Who are you?
My name's Lowry. Sam Lowry.
Oh, yes. The new boy from next door.
My name's Lime. Harvey Lime.
Welcome to Expediting.
I say, look, would you mind if I borrowed your computer console?
- What? - Yes, I'll let you have it back in 10 minutes.
You want to take my console into your office?
Yes. Just for a few minutes.
I- I'll tell you what.
You tell me what you want...
and I'll do it for you.
I'm a bit of a whiz on that thing.
Um...
all right.
Uh, I need some information on a woman named Layton.
A woman, eh?
- I see. - Yes.
I know her age and distinguishing marks, but I need an address or a place of work.
This your dream girl, is it?
What? Um...
Look, let me use your console.
You must be joking.
When there's a woman involved, there's no stopping me.
Let's have that sheet.
Sod it! It's broken!
You haven't switched it on.
Oh, yes.
Look, you're putting me off standing there.
- Why don't you go back to your office and I'll give you a knock when I'm finished. - Um...
Go on. I'm not going to elope with her.
All right.
Sam!
Sam.
Don't go.
Please.
Well?
Computers are my forte.
Let me see.
"Jillian Layton. Coloring: White. Hair: Blonde. Eyes: Blue. Height: 5 foot 4.
Distinguishing marks: Scar on left"...
Is this all you've got?
Best to take things slowly where some women are concerned.
Let me see.
Hey! That's mine!
"Layton.
"Truck driver.
All inquiries, reference office of 412/L, room 5001."
Ah, Lowry, glad I caught you. No! Send that back!
- Mr. Warrenn.! - Are you settling down? I want this order rescinded.
There's a query about a personnel transporter you took out from the pool.
Tell them no. Tell them yes.
Or was it a personnel carrier you took out from Transportation?
Send that up to Security. Anyway, tidy it up, Lowry.
There's a good chap. And get a new suit.
Don't you want the lift?
Can I help you?
No.! No.! No.! Please.!
I'm, uh... I'm looking for Officer 412/L.
He won't be very long now.
I thought so.
You may go in now.
Oh, uh, not that one.
That one. Yes.
Excuse me. Are you Officer 412/L?
Excuse me!
Jack.
Sam.
Ah! I heard you were coming aboard.
Congratulations, "DZ/015."
Thanks. Are you Officer 412/L?
Uh-huh. That's me.
Oh, and, Sam, a very happy Christmas.
- Thanks, Jack. - Are you settling in all right?
Yes, fine. Jack, I... I need some information.
Oh, Sam, this is Information Retrieval, not Information Dispersal.
Hey! Amy!
Don't throw the ball around in here.
I'm not Amy. I'm Holly.
Did I call you Amy, darling? I'm sorry.
- A triplet? - One of them, I think.
Barbara's taken the other two Christmas shopping.
You're not going to keep calling her Barbara, are you?
Why ever not? Barbara's a perfectly good name, isn't it?
Don't you like it?
Yes, it's... fine.
Come on. Let's get these together.
- Jack. - Now bring me the blue one over there.
I need to find out about a woman.
Come on, Chloe, let's show Uncle Sam here how we can make the word "cat." Shall we?
- I'm Holly. - Sorry, love. So you are.
- Cat. - This is her.
Layton.
Oh, shit.
- How much do you know about this? - Uh, not much.
What does B58/732 mean to you?
- Buttle. - I knew it.
You always were bloody quick, Sam.
Who else knows? Warrenn? Helpmann?
I don't know. I only know you got the wrong man.
Information Transit got the wrong man.
I got the right man.
The wrong man was delivered to me as the right man.
I accepted him on good faith as the right man. Was I wrong?
You killed Buttle?
Sam, there are very rigid parameters laid down to prevent such things happening.
It wasn't my fault that Buttle's heart condition didn't appear on Tuttle's file.
Come and look. How you getting on?
- Jack. - A, B, C...
- I really need to know about... - Tuttle?
Well, we're gonna have to bring Mr. Tuttle in, aren't we?
And interrogate him at the same voltage as Mr. Buttle.
And juggle the books in Electrical Banking.
- What has Tuttle done? - We suspect him of, uh, freelance subversion.
A freelance subversive.
Then all I need to wrap up the case is the Layton woman.
What has she done?
Well, she witnessed the Tuttle... Um, the Buttle arrest.
Since then, she's been going around making wild allegations...
obviously trying to exploit the situation.
She's working for someone, and I don't think it's us.
- That's it. Over there, love. - Terrorist?
Mr. Lint, the next customer has been delivered.
- Thank you, Myrtle. - What are you gonna do about the Layton woman?
Well, I put her on the detention list. Security should have her here before 6:00.
What, here? So that she can spill the beans inside the department?
Don't do that!
Jack, why don't I try and get to her for you?
I'll, um... I'll deactivate her.
What does that mean, Sam? I don't want to get involved in anything unsavory.
Trust me, Jack.
- Come on, darling. Put these away now. Mummy'll be here soon. - Let me have her file.
Look, trust me, Jack.
All right. Come on here.
All right, but for Christ's sake, don't lose it.
All right.
You sit down there, Mary. Sam.
Don't worry. I'll get to her.
You'll never get anywhere in a suit like that.
Here.
Try this.
- Bye-bye. - Bye!
Uh, but, Jack, I...
Put it on, big boy. I won't look at your willy.
Oh, let him go.
Trier, isn't he?
Just... I've been to the department of...
But you've stamped this form before. Why won't you stamp it now?
You just said yourself, miss... we've already stamped it.
No, no! Stop!
Up! Up! Up! Up! Up!
Oh, God.
Come on!
Shit!
Oi.! Come out of there.
- What? - That's the deputy minister's lift.
- I'm sorry. I'm in a hurry. - Oi, come here.
Come here, sonny. Let's see your I.D. Card, eh?
My I.D.? Oh, God.
This isn't my suit.
My name is Lowry. Sam Lowry. Look, really, can't this wait?
No, sir. I'm going to have to fill in a report on this.
Now, then, uh, what is the date today?
It's the... Oh, God, it'll have to wait!
Oi! Oi, you! Stop! Come back here! Stop!
Aim!
Stop! Don't...
Up!
Well done, men. Quick thinking.
Excellent work.
Um... I'll take charge of her now.
Good. Good man.
Um, okay.
Uh... It's a...
classified matter...
and, um, I'll, uh...
I'll include your fine handling of the situation in my report.
Great.
Uh, merry Christmas, Dawson.
Come along with me, please. Please? Okay. Yes.
Well done, men. Excellent.
Good turnout. Nice. Very good. Thank you.
No, no, no. This way, please. Straight ahead.
This way. This way.
This way.
Just keep moving.
- Hey.! Stop.! - What?
Come back here!
Pick up all these things!
- Come on.! Pick them up.! - Geez... Oh...
Disgraceful.!
- Can't you read English? - Ow! Get your bloody...
You illiterate foreign pig! You come over here on your own...
...and think you can mess up our streets!
Oh, God.
Stop!
That's it! Let's go! Vroom! Vroom!
What are you doing? For Christ's sake, keep moving!
- Get out of my cab. - What?
Just drive!
You touched me. Nobody touches me.
What are you... Oh, God!
Please! Please! Drive on!
Drive on, will you! For... Oh, shit. Move over. I'll drive.
Don't touch that! Don't touch anything!
It's okay, Officer. Thank you. It's okay. Got everything under control. Thank you.
Oh, shit. They're coming.
Listen, please drive. Drive. Trust me. You are in terrible danger.
You are an embarrassment. Please.
Please drive. Trust me. Trust me.
Drive, and I'll explain everything.
Please...
get out of my cab.
- I'm sorry. I... - Okay!
Okay, you've asked for it!
I'm Information Retrieval Officer D...
DZ/105!
And I'm arresting you as a...
Drive on, or I'll blast your fucking head off!
Go!
Look, I'm, uh... I'm sorry about that.
I mean, uh, touching you without permission.
But, um... Hello.
My name is Lowry. Sam Lowry.
I... I'm... I've been, uh...
You won't believe this, and I know it's going to sound incredible...
but, um... but I've been dreaming about you.
No, not like that. I mean, I love you.
In my dreams I love you.
And, uh... I mean... Extraordinary, isn't it?
Anyway, um...
y- y-you...
You don't believe me, do you?
You, um...
You probably think I-I-I-I'm bonkers, right? Mad. Raving.
No! No, I think you're very attractive.
What?
Yeah. Yeah, sit back. Let me have a look at you.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Good-looking, sexy. Just my type.
I don't believe you.
Why not?
Well, I-I... I just don't deserve such terrific luck.
Damn right.
Help!
I love...
You don't trust me, do you?
Oh!
Oh, my God. We shouldn't have come here.
I got a job to do!
- But they'll be lying in wait. - Oh, Christ, you're paranoid.
You've got no sense of reality.
Wait, wait, wait! Wait!
We should take the lorry and get away!
- Yeah? Where to? - Anywhere, as fast as possible.
- There isn't anywhere! - Just far away!
That's not far enough!
But... Wait!
Jill!
What's in the, uh, parcel?
- Christmas present. - Oh.
It's heavy.
Heavy Christmas present.
- You don't trust me, open it. - No!
No, no, it's, uh... it's fine.
I'd spoil the wrapping.
Anyway, if I want you to trust me, then it's only fair that I should trust you. Right?
Doesn't it bother you, the sort of things you do at Information Retrieval?
What?
I suppose you'd rather have terrorists.
Here's one now.
How many terrorists have you met, Sam? Actual terrorists?
- Actual terrorists? - Yeah.
Well... It's only my first day.
- Uh-oh. - A roadblock.
- What are we gonna do? - Stay calm.
Don't slow down. Don't slow down!
Don't stop. Please. Please do as I say. Go.
Go! Straight ahead! Go!
- Go! Go! Go! - What are you doing, you stupid asshole?
Whoo!
We did it! We did it!
We broke right through! We did it! Whee, whee, whee, whee!
- Faster! Don't let them see you! Just go! - Get off of me!
Keep going! Keep going! Faster!
- Get your foot down on it! Move! - Stay off of it!
No!
Get off!
Shit!
Oh, no.
Faster! Faster!
- What if we lose the house, yeah? - Don't touch anything!
Don't touch it!
We did it! We did it! We did it! We did it!
Oh, no.
And what would you like for Christmas?
My own credit card.
Hmm.
- Why have we come here? - Go away!
- Look, why don't we go back to my flat. - Forget it.
- You don't trust me? - Trust you? Trust you?
A man who hijacks my truck, loses me my job...
has every security man in town looking for me?
- Of course I trust you. - I was only trying to help.
- Yeah! - Okay. Okay.
You don't trust me, I don't trust you.
- What's in that parcel? - Oh, Jesus.
You saved it from the lorry. It must be something very special.
I saved you from the lorry. You're not something "very special."
- How can you... I'm gonna open it. - Don't touch that!
Sam! It's me!
And Shirley.!
Mrs. Terrain.
- That should hold it. - Sam?
Hello, Shirley.
My God, what on earth's happened to you now?
My complication had a little complication.
But Dr. Chapman says I'll soon be up...
and bounding about like a young gazelle.
You buying a Christmas present for your mother?
What?
Oh, um, yes. A little something.
Shirley and I come here "wegularlarly."
We love romantic lingerie.
Really?
Sam, picture me in these.
- Oh, my God. - Sam, where are you going?
Sam! Sam!
Jill?
Jill!
Oh, my God. Are you all right?
Well, you don't deserve to be!
What a bloody stupid thing!
How could you? Look at these people! My God!
It was a bomb. It was a bomb.
I should have opened it. I sat there with it next... I...
What a stupid thing.
There's your bomb, asshole!
Bribes...
for official monkeys like you.
Oh.
Go on. Make yourself useful.
Here.
Don't touch her! She's hurt!
Damn it!
- Don't touch her! - No.!
Stop!
Sam, no! Sam! Behind you!
These helmets don't half make your scalp itch.
Oh, don't mention it. And they make you sweat.
Half the time I can't ever see where I'm going.
There's a great Niagara of perspiration coming down.
Well, I'm lucky.
I got these thick eyebrows.
That keeps it up and channels it out to the ears.
Yeah. Who's he?
Oh, I don't know. Somebody from Information Retrieval.
They're always hangin' around in Lingerie.
Where is she? Huh?
Jill, is that you?
Uh... Excuse me, sir. That is government property.
Oh, Jill.
Jill! Answer me!
I'm looking for a girl with blonde hair.
She's medium height, green eyes.
I don't know, sir. They check all that at the depot.
Uh, we can't allow that, sir. It's more than our job's worth.
Jill! Jill, you must be here! Jill!
Look, sir, you can fill in an application form, sir, if you're a relative.
Now, do stop, sir. Please.
Jill? Jill?
Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
Sorry about that, sir. Regulations.
This is a black eye for the department, Lowry.
I don't care how you behaved when you were at Records.
Information Retrieval is an executive branch.
We're proud of our reputation and we protect it.
Damn it, Lowry! That convoy of personnel carriers is still not accounted for!
I thought I told you to deal with it. And what the hell is this mess?
An empty desk is an efficient desk.
Good God. Queries from Security.
Searches from Central Banking about a check?
Clarification notices from Accounting concerning unreturned receipts?
- Mr. Warrenn, I have to find out about... - Get up!
I don't know what's going on here, Lowry.
But don't think you can intimidate us with your friends and relatives in high places.
Now shape up!
Lime, I have to use your computer.
Sorry. A bit busy at the moment.
You seem to have rather a lot to get on with yourself.
Shit.
Come off it, Jack.
Of course you can check to see if she's been arrested.
I'm sorry, Sam. I'm afraid this case has become much more complicated since last we... talked.
But she's innocent, Jack. She's done nothing wrong.
Tell that to the wives of the security men she blew up this afternoon.
She's not alone in all this.
We've just had a report in that Tuttle has wrecked an entire flat...
and sabotaged adjacent Central Services.
As a matter of fact, it looks like on your block.
I should keep my eyes open if I were you, Sam. Bye.
But, Jack, you don't really think Tuttle and the girl are in league, do you?
I do.
Everything's connected all along the line.
Cause and effect. That's the beauty of it.
Our job is to trace the connections and, uh, reveal them.
This whole Buttle-Tuttle confusion was obviously planned from the inside.
Bye-bye.
Oh, but, Jack!
She's innocent, Jack.
Sam, we've always been close, haven't we?
Yes, Jack?
Well, until this all blows over just stay away from me.
But...
Oh, my God.
You.
It's you. What's happening?
Your thermostat's gone, and then some.
And then some!
What's happened to my flat?
Hello? What? It's for you.
- But as you don't live here anymore... - What?
Absolutely. Do you know what this is?
This is an H2206...
authorizing the compulsory, temporary requisitioning of this flat...
for our necessary repairs.
- Repairs! - What?
- No! You... - Don't forget your receipt.
- Oh! Oh! Oh! - No, sir. Don't forget your receipt.
I'm sorry, but I'm a bit of a stickler for paperwork.
He's a stickler for paperwork, sir.!
Bastards!
Tuttle.
- What are you doing? - Shh.
Phew-ee.
Oh, God.
- Jesus Christ! - The smell! Stop!
Filling up with...
Oh, God.
Oh, Jesus!
Oh!
Shit!
We're all in it together, kid.
Jill. Jill.!
Jill. Oh, God.
Are you all right? What happened to you after...
Your face. Are you hurt?
Um, no, I-I'm fine.
It's... Well...
I've been worried sick about you.
- Who was that? - That's a friend of mine. He...
Oh, God. Holy shit.
We'd better get out of here quick. Come on. Quietly.
Look out. Here. Take this.
Looks big.
Here.
Quick. Quick.
- Are you sure this is all right? - Yes. Yes, certain.
My mother's away for Christmas.
She's spending it at the plastic surgeon's.
The wraps come off tomorrow.
Lock the door after me. Don't answer the phone to anyone.
I won't be long.
- Where are you going? - I know a way to save you.
- Trust me. I can do it. - But you can't go without me.
Excuse me, Dawson. Could you put me through to Mr. Helpmann's office, please?
I'm afraid I can't, sir.
You have to go through the proper channels.
And you can't tell me what the proper channels are because that's classified information.
I'm glad to see the ministry is continuing its tradition of recruiting the brightest and best, sir.
Thank you, Dawson.
- Good night, Mr. Lime. - Good night, Dawson.
# The first Noel #
# The angels did say #
# Was to certain poor shepherds #
#In fields as they lay #
#In fields where they #
No, no, no, Arthur!
You're flat on the "G."
It's your breathing. Now take a deep breath after "Noel."
Ready? One, two, three.
# The first Noel #
# The angels did say ##
'Ere I am,J.H.
The ghost in the machine.
E- R-E-I-A-M-J-H.
Mr. Helpmann.
Mr. Helpmann?
Jill.
Jill?
Who's there?
What do you think?
Is it me?
Well?
You don't exist anymore.
I've killed you.
Jill Layton is dead.
Care for a little necrophilia?
Hmm?
Yee-hah! Yee-hah!
Merry Christmas.
Uh...
Something for an executive?
Sh-She's dead. This is just a friend of mine.
She's...
- What are you... - No!
- Oh, my God! - No! Sam!
"N3/HK/608, you are charged with the following:
"Giving aid and comfort to the enemies of society,:
"Attempting to conceal a fugitive from justice;
"passing confidential documents to unauthorized personnel...
"viz I.R. DossierJillian Layton;
"destroying government property viz an indeterminate number of personnel carriers;
"taking possession under false pretenses of said personnel carriers;
"forging the signature of the head of Records, third department;
"intention to misdirect ministry funds to the form of a check to A. Buttle...
"through unauthorized channels;
"tampering Central Services supply ducts;
"obstruction of forces, Law and Order, in the exercise of their duty;
"bringing into disrepute the good name of the government...
"and the standing within the community of the Department of Information Retrieval;
"attempting to disrupt the Ministry of Information Retrieval's internal communicating system;
wasting ministry time and paper."
Now, either you plead guilty...
to, say, seven or eight of the charges...
which is going to help keep costs down within your means...
or you can borrow a sum, to be negotiated from us, at a very competitive rate.
We can offer you something, let's say 11 and a half percent over 30 years...
but you will have to buy insurance to qualify for this scheme.
Or, if you prefer something more specific...
say, against electrical charges over £70...
All you're requested to do at this stage is to sign this form.
Think carefully before you decide.
Looking ahead in financial matters is always a wise course.
Sam, what are we going to do with you?
Where is Jill?
I've got to find her.
Please. Please, you've got to get me out of here.
I understand, Sam. I know exactly how you feel.
So I've brought you a bottle of barley water.
Oh, please help me.
I assure you, Sam, I'm doing everything within my power.
But the rules of the game are laid down.
We all have to play by them. Even me.
It's all a mistake. You've got to understand that.
Yes, well, from the department's point of view, you're certainly a bit of an own goal, but...
I'm not a terrorist.
You must know that. Please, please get me out of here.
Sam, information retrieval is expensive.
You're running up an enormous bill by not cooperating.
Please.
Please, Mr. Helpmann.
Help me find Jill.
Jill.
Yes.
Sam, I think I ought to tell you.
I'm afraid she's upped stumps and retired to the pavilion.
Thrown in the towel.
Dead?
Yes.
It's all a bit confusing, but it seems she was killed...
resisting arrest.
No. It's all right.
I did that.
The odd thing is, it appears to have happened twice.
Bit of a disputed call, I'm afraid.
Twice?
So, there you are.
All I can say is, don't fall at the last fence, the finishing post in sight.
See you in the paddock.
Do cooperate. Think of your mother.
Good luck. Keep your eye on the ball.
Gotta go. Can't keep the orphans waiting.
Don't fight it, son.
Confess quickly.
If you hold out too long, you could jeopardize your credit rating.
695/6.
Thank you.
Jack?
Jack.
Jack. Jack!
Shut up.
Jack. Jack, I'm innocent. Please.
- Help me. - Bastard.
Jack.
Jack, this is all a mistake. Please, Jack.
Take that mask off.
You stupid bastard.
- Jack. - How could you do this to me?
Jack, I'm frightened.
How do you think I feel, you shit?
- Jack... - Shut up!
This is a professional relationship.
Jack.
Jack, no, you can't.
No, Jack, please.
Jack, no.! Don't.!
Please, Jack.! No.!
- You okay? - Tuttle!
Call me Harry.
Let's go!
Here. Here.
Ah, Mr. Lowry. So pleased you could make it.
Right this way.
It's a sad loss.
Your mother was with her at the end.
The gift of eternal life.
Mrs. Terrain has just received that most wonderful of gifts.
She came to us physically new.
She goes hence from us not so physically new.
But the spirit never grows old.
Madame Lowry.
Mother.
Oh. Sam.
Mother. Mother!
Stop calling me that.
Mother! Mother, please!
- Is this guy bothering you? - Oh. Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
Mother!
Go away. This is a very sacred moment.
He's got away from us, Jack.
Afraid you're right, Mr. Helpmann.
He's gone.
Well...
# Then #
# Tomorrow was another day #
# The morning found me miles away #
# With still a million things to say #
#Now #
#As twilight gleams the sky above #
#Recalling thrills of our love #
# There's one thing I'm certain of #
#Return #
#I will #
# To old #
#Brazil ##